Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Randomize
