eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
