Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
