YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Randomize
