I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I think weed is turning my hair brown
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
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