i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
