boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
We need to feng shui this bitch.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
