So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Randomize
