Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
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