they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize
