I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Randomize
