dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
