Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Randomize
