Dude my mom stole all your condoms
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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