is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
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