can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Randomize
