thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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