just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
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