Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize