Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
