It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Be still, my beating vagina.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Randomize
