Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize
