im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
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