So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
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