he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
