Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
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