i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Randomize
