Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Randomize
