That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
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