I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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