Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
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