Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
Randomize
