So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
it's not cheating when I paid for it
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
