I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Randomize
