Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Randomize
