I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
