One girl and one boy is just not enough.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
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