My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Randomize
