would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
