Screwed.edu
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Randomize
