told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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