The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
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