So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
it's not cheating when I paid for it
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
cat food counts as protein by the way
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
