people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Randomize
