try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Randomize
