i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
