Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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