i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Randomize
