he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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