sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
