Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
