After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
