you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
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