Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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