i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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