he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
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