I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
