Got a toothbrush?
need another drink. this is the easiest way
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Randomize
