..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
Randomize
