i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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