dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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